How an imperfect koala drawing created connection

This is supposed to be a koala sleeping on a tree. A 7 year old child would probably draw it better than me, however my 2 year old thought it was brilliant. 

In my family of origin, artistic skills such as drawing, painting, acting or singing were not well regarded or valued. They were often judged and criticised. Writing was somehow accepted.

Work had to be hard

However, the work, especially the manual labour, with palpable results was highly valued. The harder the work was, the more it was valued. The more the effort invested was important, showing devotion to work and self-sacrifice in the name of work, the better it was. Although many times, even after I had put great effort and copleted an intense labour, I received feedback that were telling me that what I had done was « not good enough ».  Drawing, painting, acting or singing were considered futile in my family, and were not encouraged. Therefore whatever artistic inclinations I might have had as a child, they didn’t have the proper soil to grow. 

Even nowdays, as a grown up who did a lot of personal development work, through various approaches, (psycho)therapies and coaching, I still notice my mind judging my artistic endavours, or even denying myself the permission to create, especially for no reason. 

However, it is exactly this artistic side of me that nourishes my creativity, spontaneity, sensitivity and intuition, all important qualities and strengths in the work that I do as a coach and trainer/facilitator. 

Our talents may simply need other environments in order to grow

And then there are moments like the one last evening, when my 2 year old told me he wanted to draw with me, just when he was supposed to start getting ready for bed. To avoid a meltdown that would have delayed even longer the time he would finally fall asleep, I agreed. He wanted to draw with a regular pen he had found on my desk. His coloured crayons were no longer interesting. I left him explore the traits that the pen was making, without intervening too much. He told me he was drawing a koala which was sleeping on a tree, and he wanted to do it all by himself, in his way. So I decided to have a joint art-work moment and started drawing my version of a sleeping koala on the next page. When he finished his drawing, I asked him if he wanted to use a green pencil and make some leaves on my drawing. He agreed to use the pencil, and he traced some lines on the trunck of the tree. « Oooh, I see you are drawing some ivy that is climbing on the koala’s tree », I said, giving an interpretation that made sense for me, but not yet for him, as he doesn’t have the concept of an ivy yet.

And as I was drawing and colouring leaves, using repetitive movements, I realised that my bouncy mind was starting to calm down. Then I took a wooden letter and put it on the drawing, teaching my son that koala was written with a « K ». Needless to say that my little one was over the moon with the experience, and very pleased to see a drawing of something that looked more like the koala he could recognise. 

From imperfection to learning and connection

My koala drawing may be far from being perfect and there is definitely  a lot of room for improvement. However these artistic skills, as meagre as they may be in terms of drawing, allowed me to create connection, learning, exploration, collaboration, positive emotions and good memories. 

Sometimes we simply need to be in the presence of a 2 year old who has a natural sense of wonderment, in order to help us value our inner talents. 

Alternatively, we may need to change or expand the environment we are in, just the way a gardener may change the soil of a plant, replacing it with a more nourishing one so the plant can grow and be happier. 

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If you discover me through this post, I am Gabriela Doicaru-Spencer, professional coach, trainer and laughter yoga facilitator. I help expats balance their overall wellbeing, either personal or professional and I regularly facilitate corporate and public workshops focused on wellbeing mainly in Brussels and close by. I am also the mother of an amazing toddler with whom I am rediscovering the world, cultivating playfulness and singing nursery songs.I write to reflect, to make connections and to share about what matters for me. 

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