Self-care for winter blues: Sun, Gratitude, Laughter and Loved Ones

• Proud palm trees that kiss the sky, the smell of the ocean flooding my lungs and nostrils, feet massaged by the sand, giggles and chuckles, and family around,
• A few good nights of sleep, amongst some sleepless ones that come part of the baby/toddler package (for instance two nights ago my toddler woke up at 03:00 AM and fell back asleep only at 11:00 AM, so 8 hours later),
• Tasty food that I don’t have to cook every day and nor do I have to clean from the floor — all my gratitude for the family oriented place we are staying and its staff, as each other table from the restaurant (or the eating chaos) seems to have its set of baby/toddler food all over the place and some occasional cries atmosphere;
• Dinners taken at an earlier time, not at 10pm or 11pm, because that’s the only time when we can cook and eat, after the little one finally fell asleep, following his bedtime ritual (and including some possible sleep regressions)
• Mild weather, despite the wind that ruffles my hair and the occasional rain that catches me by surprise
• Sunshine most of the days, sea food and the soothing sound of the waves rolling on the shore.

That’s one of my recipes for winter blues, besides the usual light therapy, intentional laughter, physical exercise, either outdoor and indoor, forest walks and food supplements.

It’s part of my self-care intentions, and believe it or not, sunny holidays during the winter (or in any season, really) was recommended by my GP, when I was struggling with burnout.

Therefore, when my husband asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I replied: “Nothing, really.”

I didn’t want more things that I had to store in a flat that is already cluttered with baby and toddler items.

I preferred having the experience of the sun, sand and sea, which benefit us so much more than any fancy present, especially in the winter time.

I tend to get affected by the bad weather and lack of sunlight that characterise the Belgian winters. I might suffer from the seasonal affective disorder, as I definitely get similar symptoms.

And although Christmas time is great, I believe that a good portion of sunshine, rest and blue sky is even better. And lots of laughter and gratitude for what is around: surroundings, scenery, people.

Therefore we settled for very small and simple Christmas presents and we planned for meeting the sun.

Laugh more, even when it’s cold outside

And if the experience of a sunny holiday is not possible, perhaps the experience of a good dose of laughter is more in your reach. Lots of studies proved the benefits of laughter both on our mental health and physical health.

And since the brain doesn’t really make the difference between a natural laughter and a self-provoked/ intentional laughter, we can create laughter even for no reason.

Upon my return, I will be giving a series of laughter yoga workshops, either in French and English, and I invite you to experience something new: the intentional laughter and playfulness through the practice of laughter yoga.

You will experience a blend of intentional laughter, which we will approach just like any exercise, along with breathing exercises and improvisation that will tickle your imagination and bring out your child playfulness.

Two laughter yoga workshops, one in French and one in English, are already lined up. Save the dates!

• 10/02: Discover Laughter Yoga (English session), PEOPLE PLANET PLACE
• 20/02: Atelier Yoga du Rire, (French session) Centre Le Chemin

More on Laughter yoga & other upcoming workshops: https://gabrieladspencer.com/upcoming-workshops/

Allow yourself Time and Space to Reflect, Plan and Act in order to support Change

Sometimes we need to make changes in our life, whether we like it or not. Some changes seem natural and are welcome, others require a lot of time and energy, and others are dreaded.

Actually, deem down, we all have some degree of change aversion, as our brains like predictability and « no change » perceived is equal to safety. I know this so well, as I have an important need for safety, especially due to my upbringing, the environment in which I grew up and the difficult relations that I had with the main caregivers and authority figures in my early childhood and teenage. We all need to feel safe, but some of us, need to feel safe a lot more, and easily feel the opposite: fear, anxiety, threatened.

Therefore I am prone to look for safety and some degree of comfort, and although I am not the adventurer type, ready to jump on horses and conquer the world, I did make some important life changes that I had never thought I would make:

• I changed countries and decided to live in another country, although this involved a lot of uncertainty and tons of efforts, including learning a new language from scratch.

• I changed careers, from communications to IT, and again, from IT to coaching and training/facilitation. And by the way, the previous career in IT was offering me a lot of perceived safety, from many points of view (a certain job security, a stable income, company car, corporate type facilities such as modern aesthetic offices, technology, gym close by and one of my favourites… company cafeteria with lots of food choices)

• I got married, and note that for a long time, I was against getting married or sharing my life with a man (this was also due to my early life experiences)

• and the biggest and most challenging change that challenges me pretty much every single day is motherhood. After a lot of reflection, especially in a one-on-one setting, I decided to try having a baby and become a mother, and this, despite rejecting motherhood and the possibility of having children for most of my life (guess what, this was also due to my early life experiences, ranging from childhood to early adulthood and the relations with my parents)

Sometimes we can go through change on our own, and some other times, we need a partner to lean on in order to go through the changes. We need to be heard without being judged or told what to do, we need to be welcomed just as we are and encouraged to walk the path of change in our rhythm, we need to reflect on the meaning of things and whether what we do is actually right for us, we need to be supported and accompanied with compassion when things are really rough and when we cross personal or professional storms. We need to reconnect with our strengths and values or accept what we can or cannot change.

And if this is your case and you find yourself in need to make some changes in your life, changes that require self-exploration, introspection, going deeper, and partnership, if you prefer the confidentiality and the psychological safety of the one-on-one sessions, then perhaps individual coaching is what is right for you. One-on-one Coaching will bring you:

• Time and Space for yourself to reflect on what matters mostly to you
• Time to to slow down and go deeper
• Opportunity to look at different perspectives
• Non-judgement, respect and care
• Respecting your pace
• Opportunity to look at both your mind and body chatter
• Clarity and Options
• Progress at your own pace, movement and autonomy
• and why not, some light, as one of my previous Coaching Clients beautifully expressed it:

“Before starting the coaching sessions with Gabriela, I was running in darkness, not being able to see where I was heading. Once I started the coaching journey, I started to realise that I was no longer running alone, as Gabriela was running along with me, helping me to see what I needed to see. And session after session, I started to get more clarity on what was important for me and what I needed to do.”

To Book your FREE Coaching Discovery session, mail me at Gabrieladspencer@gmail.com

Read more on One-on-One Coaching: https://gabrieladspencer.com/coaching/