You are exhausted!
This is what I was told yesterday by one of the wellbeing professionals that I work with.
I looked and felt exhausted. I had a horrible headache that wasn’t getting appeased by the painkillers. I was feeling frail, vulnerable and disconnected. I even burst into tears. I was feeling so discouraged.
Of course I was feeling so unwell, as it’s been months and months since I actually slept well. Being the mother of a small child comes with a package of sleepless nights, even though some nights are better than others. Imagine to be waken up frequently up to three hours a night, for almost two years. Up to three hours, not five minutes, not ten minutes but up to three hours. We even had a record of six hours of wake per night during the months prior my child starting to walk. The new skills (such as holding, standing, crawling, walking) are consolidated during the night, and some babies are more prone to experience a disturbed sleep. Our baby experienced a very disturbed sleep. And so did his parents.
Moreover it’s been more than two months since I have been challenged by a nasty cold, that kept me awake many nights.
It’s absolutely understandable to have issues healing from a cold, provided that sleep has an immense role in maintaining immunity. Lack of sleep (due to motherhood challenges) equals decrease in immunity, amongst many others. So a common cold becomes a huge cold for a fragile immune system.
And if it wasn’t the incapacity to breathe while laying down or continuous coughing that kept me awake even until 3 AM on countless nights, it was my little boy who also got sick. I will spare you the details on what a sick baby involves.
So no wonder that I got so exhausted.
After leaving the meeting yesterday, I stopped for a bite, hoping to ease the dizziness symptoms. I was quite down, and upset with me and with the situation, despite all the self-compassion attempts that I had for me.
I was asking myself how I would honour the professional commitments I had made while being in that state. I was doubting about my capacity even to fulfil my motherhood responsibilities.
I needed to rest, badly. And to eat. I grabbed the fork and the knife, unfolding them from a napkin. And whilst taking a bite, my attention was drawn by the writing of the creased napkin. With a handwriting font the following message soothed me: “Live, love, laugh”.
I smiled and took a picture or two and then asked myself what I needed in that moment. I needed to finish that meal and to rest. I needed to sleep, so I could take a chance of recovering, at least from the horrid headache, dizziness and frailness.
I had to reprioritise commitments and focus on getting back my energy. And I told myself that it would be great if I could laugh some more (with others). Therefore a laughter yoga session might be scheduled any time soon.
I cancelled everything else for the day and went to rest. My husband took on everything else that my share of childcare would involve, knowing he is very involved and present in the life of our child. I went to bed very early, and I was awake at least one hour during the night, either caring for my little one, either coughing.
All in all, today I am better. I am still challenged by the cold, coughing from time to time, but feeling overall so much better.
And believe it or not, I am preparing a workshop about how to boost your sleep. After all, who else could facilitate a workshop on how to improve your sleep than someone who really experienced sleep issues?
When it comes to improving our sleep, believe it or not, there are quite a few things that are in our control, and some are actually related to our behaviour and lifestyle.
And a note: Parents of newborns and small children, sorry, this is not a workshop aimed for you, although there are a few things that you could apply, perhaps in the future.
More details to come on:
- Boost your sleep workshops
- Laughter Yoga experience workshops
In the picture the “Live, Love, Laugh” napkin, next to a glass of a very sweet Moroccan mint tea.
Gabriela D. Spencer 